KINDS OF DISCIPLINE
A child, in growing up, may meet and learn from three different kinds of disciplines. The first and most important is what we might call the discipline of nature or of reality. When he is trying to do something real, if he does the wrong thing or doesn’t do the right one, he doesn’t get the result he wants. If he doesn’t pile one block right on top of another, or tries to build on a slanting surface, his tower falls down. If he hits the wrong key, he hears the wrong note. If he
doesn’t hit the nail squarely on the head, it bends, and he has to pull it out and start with another.
If he doesn’t measure properly what he is trying to build, it won’t, close, fit, stand up, fly, float, whistle, or do whatever he wants it to do. If he closes his eyes when he swings, he doesn’t hit the ball. A child meets kind of discipline every time he tries to do something, which is why it is so important in school to give children more chances to do things, instead of just reading or listening to someone talk (or pretending to). This discipline is a great teacher. The learner never has to wait long for his answer; it usually comes quickly, often instantly. Also it is clear, and very often points toward the needed correction; from what happened he cannot only see that what he did was wrong, but also why, and what he needs to do instead. Finally, and most important, the giver of the answer, call it nature, is impersonal, impartial, and different. She doesn’t give opinion, or make judgment; she cannot be wheedled, bullied, or fooled; she doesn’t remember past failures or hold grudges; with her one always gets a fresh start, this time is want that counts. The next discipline we might call the Discipline of Culture, of Society, of What People Really Do. Man is a social, a cultural animal. Children sense around them this culture, this network of agreement, customs, habits and rules binding the adults together. They want to understand it and be a part of it. They watch very carefully what people around them are doing and want to do the same. They want to do right; unless they become convinced they can’t do right. Thus rarely misbehave seriously. In the same way, the little children that I see at concert or operas, though they may fidget a little, or perhaps take a nap now and then, rarely make any disturbance. With all those grown ups sitting there, neither moving nor talking, it is the most natural thing in the world to imitate them. Children who live among adults, who are habitually courteous to each other, and to them, will soon, learn to be courteous. Children who live surrounded by people who speak a certain may will speak that way, however much we may try to tell them that speaking that way is bad or wrong.
